Green Lantern (2011) Review

“In brightest day, in blackest zzzzzzz"

I'm going to start things off by reviewing Green Lantern because, unfortunately, it is the last movie I have had the displeasure of sitting through. Let’s rewind to several months ago. Ryan Reynolds, Mark Strong, Tim Robbins and director Martin Campbell (Goldeneye, Casino Royale) all come together. I was intrigued. Then, on October 21st 2010, IGN went and called Green Lantern "The New Star Wars". Yes, that actually happened ( http://movies.ign.com/articles/112/1129610p1.html). Well done Mr. Jim Vejvoda 

"They compared it with what?"

Unfortunately, Green Lantern is no Star Wars; it’s not even a Phantom Menace. It is shoddy, lazy and plays out like it was tailor made for 12 year olds. I would have put a minor spoiler warning at the start of the review, but anyone with half a brain can figure out the entire plot of this movie based on the 2 minute trailer alone. Yes, it is the same basic, linear super hero movie plot that has been done countless times before. Now there's nothing wrong with a movie having a simple, cliché ridden plot, but when that simple plot is accompanied by muddled, confusing, unlikable characters you're in trouble. This is where Green Lantern fails miserably. By the end of the movie you will feel like the opinions you formed of all the main characters were nothing close to what the movie was hoping to achieve.

Reynolds plays Hal Jordan. This is where I'd try and tell you a little something about the character, but I'm too confused to do so. At the start of the movie he's a Han Solo (hello Mr. Vejvoda), the womanising rebel who does not like to do things by the book and shirks his responsibilities. Half an hour in, he's Luke Skywalker, caring waaay too much about a dying alien he's known for the last thirty seconds. This alien gives him a ring, which he gladly accepts and he becomes a Green Lantern. 

The rest of his character arc involves him switching between Solo and Skywalker. One minute he walks out because the shit gets too heavy, the next he's back in because of a hilariously acted heart to heart with his smoking girlfriend (Blake Lively). When Hal finally does become a hero, his motives are iffy to say the least. I use the term "hero" very loosely here because at the end of the movie, Hal felt more like a reluctant "hero", only pressed into action when his girl and planet were at stake. The concept of a selfish super hero would have been an interesting one to explore, alas that is not what Green Lantern is supposed to be about. Why didn't he stay and try to help the other Lanterns before earth was a target? His motivation seemed to be "gosh darn it, I guess I have to act the hero and try and save my planet since no one else can and we'll all end up dying if I don't". Taking into account the dire circumstances which led to him finally manning up, you don't get any feeling of nobility or courage in the character. 

To be fair, I'd save the planet for her.

Hal's adversary, along with the giant yellow monster, is Hector Hammond (Peter Saarsgard), someone who we first see playing chess on a computer surrounded by paperwork and takeaway food (because he’s a reclusive genius, get it?!). He's a decent guy with daddy issues, until the big yellow monster corrupts his mind. He then proceeds to take cues from the "how to be a stereotypical super villain guidebook" and screams and shouts a lot. Oh and he happens to be in love with Hal's girlfriend.   

Finally we have Sinestro, the leader of the lanterns, played by Mark Strong (who I'm a big fan of). Unfortunately his face is red and barely recognisable and his role is the worst of the lot. When we first meet Sinestro, he appears to be a bad ass leader, the one in charge. Good and noble, he's entrusted with protecting his planet. Maybe a sort of  Obi Wan Kenobi (right Jim?). As the movie progresses however, his character inexplicably turns into a human hating douche. So, shock and horror, the guy with the red face named Sinestro turns out to be quite an ass.

  

Special mention to Tim Robbins who's role has absolutely no relevance and was completely unnecessary. But hey, that's one more he can add to his list of movie duds.

"I was in Shawshank Redemption"

We've established the characters and plot are highly suspect. What about the action? Humour? Can you turn your brain off and expect a decent popcorn flick? NO. No you cannot. I actually like Ryan Reynolds, but there was nothing he could do with this script to make the movie any more enjoyable. A few the ring powers were pretty cool and the yellow monster looked fairly impressive, but the rest of the special effects and action scenes (few to begin with) were lame, cartoon like and unintentionally humorous. 

Only watch this movie if you want to laugh at something that was not intended to be funny or you are a 12 year old who is impressed by flying people and 3D glasses. For the rest of you normal folk, stay away. 

Rating: 3/10